gayforgadreel:

acceptable responses to ‘who are you’:

- an angel of the lord

- the jack-o-lanterns in july

- the one who gripped u tight and raised u from perdition

- the oncoming storm

unacceptable responses to ‘who are you’:

- [insert your name here]

(via heybethanyy)

dropdeadesu:

A friend of mine just messaged me saying “I fucked up. I was doing math with my son, and I told him to ‘hold up eleven fingers’ and he started to panic and I didn’t realize why until he screamed ‘MOM…MOM I ONLY HAVE TEN”

(via marlasblackenedlungs)

shouldnt:

gaydicks420:

last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.

omg

(via heybethanyy)

lordofthepringles:

If I introduce a movie to you, and we watch it together, I’ll be spending at least 99.9% of the time watching you to make sure you are responding correctly to the film.

(via heybethanyy)